A Note for the New Year

In the final months of 2012, a lot happened. Sorry to say it so abruptly, but it's true. Everything from getting kicked out of my house, to one of my best friends in the world getting married,  to a fiasco of a summer fling to the best New Years Eve I've ever had in my life. It was a showcase of accidental ecstacy, calculated luck and just a hint of misfortunate, all raining down in a shower of hot pink and gold glitter as I strung up my Christmas baubles.

 

 

We never do anything by halves, here at the Beautiful Mess.

 
The best part of the end of last year was the extraordinary re-discovery I made of my own strength. I was finally able, for once in my life, to say 'no'. The immense power and character that spewed from my heart and soul from committing this one simple act absolutely floored me. And it has completely changed my life. I no longer sit in fear of what might happen if I don't take control of my own existence, instead of letting others control it for me. I no longer cower in the shadow of someone I percieved to be exceptionally powerful and far more important than my own beautiful self. I didn't even realise that I had my own character, my own self-worth, my own truth and light and happiness wrapped up in someone else. And when I finally manged to de-tangle myself from the mess of ill-confidence I'd wrapped myself up in... it all just fell away.
 
I can breathe now for the first time in years and years. And I am happy. Truly happy. I learned to apologise- with contrition. I have accepted and acknowledged my part in hurting others (which made me feel like I was riding a unicorn through a field of neon pink and blue daisies <3 ). I see everything in a fresh light, with sparkles and new joy. You might think I sound like I'm stoned off my face, but I don't even care. I walk now with a brand new confidence, and it feels so, so good.

 

 

 
So, with all that out of the way... 2013 has kicked itself off to a flying start! I feel so deeply refreshed and rejuvenated. There is a tantalising array of amazing opportunities unfolding as we speak, with big, big plans on the not-so-distant horizon. I'm doing some research into yoga and meditation, into different philosophies on eating, drinking, loving and learning, looking into homeopathy and other alternative tharapies, getting excited about new music, new writers, new friends, new dreams... and making it all up as I go along. Yikes!

I'm really looking forward to sharing my new adventure with you. What are you looking forward to?

M xxx