A Note for the New Year

In the final months of 2012, a lot happened. Sorry to say it so abruptly, but it's true. Everything from getting kicked out of my house, to one of my best friends in the world getting married,  to a fiasco of a summer fling to the best New Years Eve I've ever had in my life. It was a showcase of accidental ecstacy, calculated luck and just a hint of misfortunate, all raining down in a shower of hot pink and gold glitter as I strung up my Christmas baubles.

 

 

We never do anything by halves, here at the Beautiful Mess.

 
The best part of the end of last year was the extraordinary re-discovery I made of my own strength. I was finally able, for once in my life, to say 'no'. The immense power and character that spewed from my heart and soul from committing this one simple act absolutely floored me. And it has completely changed my life. I no longer sit in fear of what might happen if I don't take control of my own existence, instead of letting others control it for me. I no longer cower in the shadow of someone I percieved to be exceptionally powerful and far more important than my own beautiful self. I didn't even realise that I had my own character, my own self-worth, my own truth and light and happiness wrapped up in someone else. And when I finally manged to de-tangle myself from the mess of ill-confidence I'd wrapped myself up in... it all just fell away.
 
I can breathe now for the first time in years and years. And I am happy. Truly happy. I learned to apologise- with contrition. I have accepted and acknowledged my part in hurting others (which made me feel like I was riding a unicorn through a field of neon pink and blue daisies <3 ). I see everything in a fresh light, with sparkles and new joy. You might think I sound like I'm stoned off my face, but I don't even care. I walk now with a brand new confidence, and it feels so, so good.

 

 

 
So, with all that out of the way... 2013 has kicked itself off to a flying start! I feel so deeply refreshed and rejuvenated. There is a tantalising array of amazing opportunities unfolding as we speak, with big, big plans on the not-so-distant horizon. I'm doing some research into yoga and meditation, into different philosophies on eating, drinking, loving and learning, looking into homeopathy and other alternative tharapies, getting excited about new music, new writers, new friends, new dreams... and making it all up as I go along. Yikes!

I'm really looking forward to sharing my new adventure with you. What are you looking forward to?

M xxx

The Calm Before The Storm

It is with savage rigour that I throw myself and my Mess headlong into cyber traffic once more.

And yet... I sit back, and reflect on exactly what it is I have started. This whole blogging business has spiralled almost completed out of control over the last few years. Every man and his dog seem to have a blog nowadays, and I’m not entirely sure it’s the best thing for the world. There are plenty of self-absorbed, loathsome idiots on the internet, and blogging is just another tool that gives voice to those who do not really need any more opportunities to make total asses of themselves.

TO BLOG, OR NOT TO BLOG

In my humble opinion, being a successful blogger requires something a little more than a poorly designed web-template and a basic understanding of Instagram (both, I acknowledge, I employ). It requires a more delicate spray of poignant prose and sarcastic melodrama that demands the most frugal choosing of phrases and structuring of sentences. Otherwise, you’ll bore your readers out of their fucking minds, and who wants to come back to a blog that is blatantly self-righteous and solely self-fulfilling? Bloggers should seek to enrich their readers’ lives, or work toward a common goal, uniting a community through common purpose. Not parade about their bedrooms in slap-dash ensembles snapping cheap shots of themselves on their iPhones and declaring themselves fashionistas.

And, whoa, hold up a second there- get down off Ye Olde High Horse- DISMOUNT, I SAY!- I’m not, for one second, saying that a well-written fashion blog by a talented young woman who knows what she’s talking about isn't one of the single most coolest things ever. Because God knows, I follow about four or five religiously (seriously, to the point where I might actually be considered a stalker if they knew. Don’t tell anyone). I follow the four or five that I do because these women are hard-working, worldly, experienced, respected journalists who have got their shit together and wear their eight inch towering JC’s to their local coffee parlour proudly. They also acknowledge, for the most part, that they are privileged to have made names for themselves in an industry that is as cutthroat as it is fluid- changing from one second to the next, fluctuating wildly across continents. They write well, speak well, dress well, and are fabulous role models for young women (and men) all over the world. And that shit don’t come easy.

Aside from the fashion blogging circle, there are some other truly fantastical blogs out in the cybersphere. Gala Darling has been one of my all time favourites for years (EVERYONE should get on the Radical Self Love bandwagon. EVERYONE). There are cupcake-baking blogs, misanthropy blogs (for all your people-hating needs!), shoe blogs, travel blogs, photography blogs. Blogs and bloggers of all shapes and sizes from all over the globe. But the truly great blogs are the ones that inspire you to create. To foster. To grow. To think. Isn’t that the whole point?

I’m not saying that I have some sense of entitlement to this cyber galaxy of extreme cool. I’m not saying my work is every going to be uber-famous, or uber-talked about, or even uber-known at all (apart from you delightful morsels who follow my shameless self-promoting links from Facebook- welcome!). But I’d like to think that at least I stand for a little more- living life, rather than documenting it; fostering fabulousness, while rarely feeling very fabulous myself; and of course, teetering into my local coffee parlour in stupid shoes, because what’s life without a little hypocrisy? Ha. ha. ha.

HOMEWORK

Right. Now that that's said and done... as stated in my very first entry, THIS blog is supposed to be all about Cultivating Your Personal Aesthetic. I’m starting to think that I might need to whittle that idea down a little, because now that I am beginning to appreciate the scope of the mess (actual mess, not 'beautiful Mess') I’m in at the moment, and 'cultivating an aesthetic' seems about as easy as navigating a spaceship to Jupiter.

First things first - refill coffee cup.

Second - stop contemplating the things that have, over the last three months, made me totally and completely miserable (the profoundly negative impact that a few nasty actions from a few nasty people can have on the long term health and well being of another still absolutely baffles me). I am ashamed to admit I have been driven to the point of throwing crumpet crusts at happy people on television, with black mascara tears running down my blotchy unwashed face. Disgusting. 

C) - walk home from work in the sunshine.

and lastly - start planning how to Spring Clean My Conciousness (stay tuned).

Until next time,  

M x

Things I Love Thursday!

That’s right! I have decided to incorporate this fabulous initiative by Gala Darling into my very own blog! Things I Love Thursday, for those of you who don’t know, is an opportunity to share all the tiny little things that have made you smile over the past week. It’s a chance to be thankful, and also, to recognise the beauty in the seemingly small and insignificant details of your Mess.

Ready?! <3

Phone chargers
Staplers
The bubbles in champagne
Emails from University
Job interviews
Pink highlighter pens
The truth
Tissues
Lavosh bread wraps
Pink lipstick impressions on my Mickey Mouse coffee mug
Flight confirmation emails
Fresh flowers in my hair
Giving roses on Valentine’s day
My mascara
Shaved legs
Sun on my face
A confident strut
Mersey Valley cheese
Mum’s cups of tea
Kisses from my dog
New underwear
Crisp fresh salad

What do you love today? What made you smile in the last week? Leave a comment or share on my Facebook post!

Glitteringly,

M x

Getting A Few Things Straight

Alright. Let's get a few things straight.

I am not a photographer, I do not own a fancy camera or a tripod and have knowledge of photo editing software.

I do not rub shoulders with the fashion bloggers of New York and Los Angeles, and saunter effortlesly down the street sipping triple-vanilla-iced-soy-frappucinos.

I haven't figured out yet how to embed cool pictures and videos in these things, but I will.

I do not profess to be all knowing, all encompassing, all powerful, and do not expect to make a huge dent in cyberspace worthy of a seven-minute spot on The Morning Show.

I am, however, a twenty two year old girl who is fed up with her boring existence, sick to death of the same shoes, the same hair, the same books, the same drinks, the same music. I had a realisation last night- yes, that's right, a realistion- that I want MORE. I want more for my life, for myself. Do you think that's selfish? Because there's a second part to my realisation. Hang on to your seats... I DESERVE more. And the beauty of this little project?

So do you.

Does that come as a bit of a shock? Do you find yourself, as I do, standing on the brink of a gaping chasm of the unknown, terrified to inch forward for fear of plummeting to your demise? How difficult do you think it can be, growing into the person that you want to become? Well, here's the clincher- I'm making it my mission to find out.

I'm going to spend 2012 Cultivating My Personal Aesthetic. More on that later though. Why don't you toddle off, make yourself a coffee and curl up with your cat/dog/book/boyfriend and take a second to actually reflect on yourself. What do you love about youself? How could you push those boundaries? What bothers you about yourself- physically, emotionally, spiritually? What are your favourite things in the entire world? Why? What can't you stand? What makes you want to barf? Why? I think that in order to make major changes to our lives, we need to have a pretty good understanding of why we are the way that we are in the first place. What makes us tick, what makes us laugh, why we like certain colours, why we drink certain teas.

What people think of when they look at you on the street? What's the first thing they notice about you? Are you happy for these thoughts to be their first/ final impression of the person that you are? (No, this is not about 'changing yourself to make others happy', or 'who cares what anyone else thinks'. Humour me, alright? I'm doing it too.)

How about what people say about you after you leave the room at a party? Do they stare after you in awe? Forget you the moment you turn around? Talk about how you seemed distant? Cold? Funny? Sassy? Stupid? Repressed? Seriously- let's all sit down and have a think about it. I'm going to reflect on this peculiar notion in the shower, because I really want to pumice my poor feet (occupational hazard of wearing sky-high heels to work every day), and I'm curious to see if I'm hit by a lighting bolt of inspiration while I practise the meditiative process of washing all the negativity from my skin. Christ, this is my first blog entry after all- wouldn't want to start off on the wrong foot now would we?

M x