The Calm Before The Storm

It is with savage rigour that I throw myself and my Mess headlong into cyber traffic once more.

And yet... I sit back, and reflect on exactly what it is I have started. This whole blogging business has spiralled almost completed out of control over the last few years. Every man and his dog seem to have a blog nowadays, and I’m not entirely sure it’s the best thing for the world. There are plenty of self-absorbed, loathsome idiots on the internet, and blogging is just another tool that gives voice to those who do not really need any more opportunities to make total asses of themselves.

TO BLOG, OR NOT TO BLOG

In my humble opinion, being a successful blogger requires something a little more than a poorly designed web-template and a basic understanding of Instagram (both, I acknowledge, I employ). It requires a more delicate spray of poignant prose and sarcastic melodrama that demands the most frugal choosing of phrases and structuring of sentences. Otherwise, you’ll bore your readers out of their fucking minds, and who wants to come back to a blog that is blatantly self-righteous and solely self-fulfilling? Bloggers should seek to enrich their readers’ lives, or work toward a common goal, uniting a community through common purpose. Not parade about their bedrooms in slap-dash ensembles snapping cheap shots of themselves on their iPhones and declaring themselves fashionistas.

And, whoa, hold up a second there- get down off Ye Olde High Horse- DISMOUNT, I SAY!- I’m not, for one second, saying that a well-written fashion blog by a talented young woman who knows what she’s talking about isn't one of the single most coolest things ever. Because God knows, I follow about four or five religiously (seriously, to the point where I might actually be considered a stalker if they knew. Don’t tell anyone). I follow the four or five that I do because these women are hard-working, worldly, experienced, respected journalists who have got their shit together and wear their eight inch towering JC’s to their local coffee parlour proudly. They also acknowledge, for the most part, that they are privileged to have made names for themselves in an industry that is as cutthroat as it is fluid- changing from one second to the next, fluctuating wildly across continents. They write well, speak well, dress well, and are fabulous role models for young women (and men) all over the world. And that shit don’t come easy.

Aside from the fashion blogging circle, there are some other truly fantastical blogs out in the cybersphere. Gala Darling has been one of my all time favourites for years (EVERYONE should get on the Radical Self Love bandwagon. EVERYONE). There are cupcake-baking blogs, misanthropy blogs (for all your people-hating needs!), shoe blogs, travel blogs, photography blogs. Blogs and bloggers of all shapes and sizes from all over the globe. But the truly great blogs are the ones that inspire you to create. To foster. To grow. To think. Isn’t that the whole point?

I’m not saying that I have some sense of entitlement to this cyber galaxy of extreme cool. I’m not saying my work is every going to be uber-famous, or uber-talked about, or even uber-known at all (apart from you delightful morsels who follow my shameless self-promoting links from Facebook- welcome!). But I’d like to think that at least I stand for a little more- living life, rather than documenting it; fostering fabulousness, while rarely feeling very fabulous myself; and of course, teetering into my local coffee parlour in stupid shoes, because what’s life without a little hypocrisy? Ha. ha. ha.

HOMEWORK

Right. Now that that's said and done... as stated in my very first entry, THIS blog is supposed to be all about Cultivating Your Personal Aesthetic. I’m starting to think that I might need to whittle that idea down a little, because now that I am beginning to appreciate the scope of the mess (actual mess, not 'beautiful Mess') I’m in at the moment, and 'cultivating an aesthetic' seems about as easy as navigating a spaceship to Jupiter.

First things first - refill coffee cup.

Second - stop contemplating the things that have, over the last three months, made me totally and completely miserable (the profoundly negative impact that a few nasty actions from a few nasty people can have on the long term health and well being of another still absolutely baffles me). I am ashamed to admit I have been driven to the point of throwing crumpet crusts at happy people on television, with black mascara tears running down my blotchy unwashed face. Disgusting. 

C) - walk home from work in the sunshine.

and lastly - start planning how to Spring Clean My Conciousness (stay tuned).

Until next time,  

M x

Conflict: A Beginners Guide

Cripes! I’ve let my Mess run away with me again. It’s been far too long since my last post- my millions of readers must be devastated! I have to say, in my defence, there’s been a fair amount going on lately. A whirlwind of money crap, jobs applications, interview arrangements, house inspections, crazy relatives and the like. All the hullaballoo had resulted in limited sleep, pretty scary dreams and, most importantly- I started to think about the concept of conflict.

Conflict (con . flict) verb1. To come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition
2. To fight or contend; do battle. To clash.
Ah, conflict. Where would we be without it? Probably locked inside our own heads, terrified to make decisions for ourselves, putting up with things that make us sad or angry just because we don’t want to come to terms with the idea of making proactive change. As much as nobody likes to fight or argue, facing up to your own problems is an incredibly empowering thing to do. It generates positive energy. It fills you with courage and resonates with an air of infinite possibility. But- where to start?
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
I worry a lot. Not anywhere near as much as I used to, and this is something that I intend to keep working on. (One of my best friends considers a moment not telling me to ‘Chill, Winston,’ as a moment wasted.) I know that I worry about little things, I do. And you know what? I’m starting to realise more and more, it sucks precious energy out of my soul. If you can’t learn to accept the little things, like missing a bus, running five minutes late, losing your keys- how on earth d’you expect to be able to cope with the big stuff? The huge stuff? Try to let the little things go. They are not worth worrying about. Chill, Winston!
Be Brave
Facing problems head on is a petrifying thing to do. I can talk and talk and talk and talk for hours about a
problem, why it’s a problem, when the problem started, how that problem is affecting my Mess, why I feel I need to do something about the problem, when I’m going to do something about the problem... but actually facing the problem is something I am just not good at. It demands courage, and confidence, and conviction in your beliefs- all things that I need to work on. But you know what? I’m no doormat either. I don’t believe in lying down and taking crap from someone, for any reason. Why should you have to put up with things that make you sad, or angry, or frustrated? Change, change, change! Let’s make a pact- we are all going to pick a problem, big or small, to face properly in the next week. We’ll report back.
There Are Some Things That You Just Can’t Change
As sad as it is, and no matter how much you try, sometimes we need to learn to accept problems which are beyond immediate repair. Relationships which are broken beyond anybody’s capability to fix. Don’t forget, every single problem in the world is created by human instinct, human error, human judgement. Key word being human. There comes a point sometimes when we all need space and time to grow alone. Don’t see it as a failure. Don’t think that you’re weak. It’s okay to recognise that you need to remove yourself from shitty situations in order to foster positive change. After all... how can anybody love you if you don’t love yourself first?
Embrace your Mess. Live it happily. Live it courageously. If you’re going to fight for anything, fight for your Mess- and keep it beautiful.
M x

Engage Fabulous Style

Good morning darlings! I am in an unnaturally refreshed mood today as I selpt for FOURTEEN HOURS last night. Amazing! I feel like I could take on the Universe! (How appropriate- this blog is about me taking on my own world, after all.) Do you now what I'd love? To find some other people who want to committ to this project with me. We're right at the very beginning, here and now, this project is less than a week old- what better time than to recommend this page to a friend who might enjoy it, or someone who you think is ready to start Cultivating, and doing something new with their Mess.

Begin to Cultivate Your Personal Aesthetic.
Today is my first pay day (!) since deciding to embark on this fanciful journey. I'm filled with almost innappropriate levels of excitement over the fact that I will soon again have real, live money in my bank account. And while that is very exciting, as there are things I really do need to buy such as food, razors, shampoo and these leggings (because let's face it, they are gorgeous)- don't think that your creativity and Cultivation is limited to having a few dollars up your sleeve to bandy about buying fairy lights for your bedroom, or an entirely new nail polish collection. No, no, no. In fact, I'm going to help you out.

* Top 10 Money-Free Ways to Engage Fabulous Style and Promote Positive Change In Your Very Own Mess * 

1. Re-read a favourite book that you haven't picked up in years. Engage with the characters and get back to the roots of what your truly enjoy.

2. Pick some fresh flowers. Stick them in vases, jam jars, coffee mugs, anywhere that will make the whole house smell like a florist. (Just don't let the neighbours see you if you intend to pilfer their award winning roses).

3. Paint your nails in colour coordination with your outfit. Hurray, colours! You may even have a few nail art gems lying around the place- go crazy! Imagine having glittering jewel encrusted nails when you sip on your next triple-shot-latte at your local coffee house. You might make someone's day. And please, please, please wipe off any mistakes with nail polish remover before it dries on your skin. There is nothing that says 'unpolished' (forgive the pun) like a messy manicure.

4. Throw out anything smelly or rotten in your fridge. Have you ever noticed a person's expression when they've opened the door to a pongy fridge? It's repulsive, and yet so easily remedied! Stay on top of it! You know as well as I do, that ham went off two weeks ago...

5. Go through some magazines and tear out pictures and words that inspire you. You don't have to do anything with them just yet- we'll have a look at ways to use these things in the near future- but spend some time collecting and reflecting. Plus- it's fun.

6. Go through your iPhone/iPod/Andriod/MP3 and make notes of music you haven't listened to for years or don't like. Delete. Why take up precious space on your phone and in your Mess on things that don't thrill and excite you? Poo! Be gone!

7. Check out some different Blogs. Sign up for Blogger, or Tumblr, or any other blogging website that tickles your fancy. You don't have to post anything, but you should be granted to use of a 'next' button- once you view a blog, hit 'next' and it'll take you to another random one. Why not? Engage with others and add their beautiful, different colours to your Mess. (Just make sure you come back here evenually).

8. Apply a fresh coat of your favourite lipstick. Drink a coffee. Enjoy the coloured imprint on the coffee mug.

9. Air out your quilt. We spend almost half our lives in bed. We sweat in them, spill tea in them, other people sleep in them (including animals)... stick your nose deep down in your bedding and take a whiff. See what I mean? Not cool. Chuck it on the clothesline, or drape it over some chairs outside in the sun. Make your bed a bedbug free zone.

10. Get off your computer. It's not going to run away. Go outside. Sit on the lawn, or in your favourite deck chair, and get to work on numbers 1, 3, 5 or 8. And that, gorgeous reader, is exacly what I'm going to do.

M x