Cripes! I’ve let my Mess run away with me again. It’s been far too long since my last post- my millions of readers must be devastated! I have to say, in my defence, there’s been a fair amount going on lately. A whirlwind of money crap, jobs applications, interview arrangements, house inspections, crazy relatives and the like. All the hullaballoo had resulted in limited sleep, pretty scary dreams and, most importantly- I started to think about the concept of conflict.
Conflict (con . flict) verb1. To come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition
2. To fight or contend; do battle. To clash.
Ah, conflict. Where would we be without it? Probably locked inside our own heads, terrified to make decisions for ourselves, putting up with things that make us sad or angry just because we don’t want to come to terms with the idea of making proactive change. As much as nobody likes to fight or argue, facing up to your own problems is an incredibly empowering thing to do. It generates positive energy. It fills you with courage and resonates with an air of infinite possibility. But- where to start?
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
I worry a lot. Not anywhere near as much as I used to, and this is something that I intend to keep working on. (One of my best friends considers a moment not telling me to ‘Chill, Winston,’ as a moment wasted.) I know that I worry about little things, I do. And you know what? I’m starting to realise more and more, it sucks precious energy out of my soul. If you can’t learn to accept the little things, like missing a bus, running five minutes late, losing your keys- how on earth d’you expect to be able to cope with the big stuff? The huge stuff? Try to let the little things go. They are not worth worrying about. Chill, Winston!
Be Brave
Facing problems head on is a petrifying thing to do. I can talk and talk and talk and talk for hours about a
problem, why it’s a problem, when the problem started, how that problem is affecting my Mess, why I feel I need to do something about the problem, when I’m going to do something about the problem... but actually facing the problem is something I am just not good at. It demands courage, and confidence, and conviction in your beliefs- all things that I need to work on. But you know what? I’m no doormat either. I don’t believe in lying down and taking crap from someone, for any reason. Why should you have to put up with things that make you sad, or angry, or frustrated? Change, change, change! Let’s make a pact- we are all going to pick a problem, big or small, to face properly in the next week. We’ll report back.
There Are Some Things That You Just Can’t Change
As sad as it is, and no matter how much you try, sometimes we need to learn to accept problems which are beyond immediate repair. Relationships which are broken beyond anybody’s capability to fix. Don’t forget, every single problem in the world is created by human instinct, human error, human judgement. Key word being human. There comes a point sometimes when we all need space and time to grow alone. Don’t see it as a failure. Don’t think that you’re weak. It’s okay to recognise that you need to remove yourself from shitty situations in order to foster positive change. After all... how can anybody love you if you don’t love yourself first?
Embrace your Mess. Live it happily. Live it courageously. If you’re going to fight for anything, fight for your Mess- and keep it beautiful.
M x
