Getting Yourself Back On Track!

Image from Dazed and Confused

 

 

 

Happy Friday, Candylips!

 

It occured to me this morning when I was on my way to the gym that my days have mostly been following a pattern for the last few weeks. This notion thrilled and excited me, because as a general rule, I am not exactly a stickler for routine. I am spontaneous, combustible, erratic- and generally, I like it that way! It makes my life colourful and interesting and unexpected, which mostly suits me just fine.

 

However, when you're trying really hard to get the most out of your days and nothing seems to be going quite the way you imagined (think job loss, zero cash, very few job interviews and generally struggling to get up in the morning), getting into a routine could be exactly what you need to help get you out of a rut and focussed on the big picture once more.

 

Somehow, I have found myself quite comfortably in a cycle of activity and productivity that, in all honesty, has had very little to do with any effort on my part. It really began just as a way to fill my days after my job was made redundant, and I'd suffered a pretty big blow personally at the end of last year. I knew that if I didn't keep myself busy, I would find myself sinking back into the not-very-nice place that I was in earlier last year- and believe me, friends, I have NO intention of every getting back there again!

 

The things that I began doing just to fill in time have become absolutely necessary in the successful functioning of my day. What's more, this inane sort of routine that I have always tried so desperately to avoid has actually acted as a sort of kickstart for my future. Having so much time to write and focus on my blog and my portfolio has really made me think about what it is that I want to achieve, and what I want to give back to the world. I even have time to make myself go to the gym, which I have been doing three or four times per week. (Yay!)

 

A typical day for me used to be... well... not really very typical at all. I just had certain things that I knew I HAD to do every week, such as go to work, go to the gym, cook, study, see friends, drink alcohol and sleep. There was never structure, there was no drive. No discipline. And really, without discipline, it's almost impossible to achieve anything.

 

Now, a typical day for me goes like this:

 

 

          1. Wake up 7.45am, dress in gym gear

 

          2. Gulp down a coffee and eat something small to kickstart my metabolism

 

          3. Go to the gym. Do half an hour of running intervals and half an hour of resistance training

 

          4. Get home, fix small snack, switch on computer

 

          5. Shower, fix hair and makeup properly, get dressed

 

          6. Put washing on, stack dishwasher, cuddle Luxe or the puppies

 

          7. Check emails, manage Facebook pages and social media

 

          8. Work on blog entries, articles and job applications

 

          9. Make lunch

 

          10. Blog entries, articles and job applications, manage Facebook pages and social media

 

          11. Run to shops, see friends, see boyfriend, etc.  

 

          12. Eat dinner, watch TV, make phone calls, organise outfit for next day

 

Somehow, my life has consolidated down into these twelve easy steps! It's amazing!

 

Okay, okay, so not every single day pans out this way. Obviously things happen that are outside our control, and that is fine. But, honestly, for the most part, the outline listed above is pretty accurate. And weirdly- I feel great! I'm focussed, I'm doing something that I love, I have time to do all the things I need to do, I don't feel like I'm wasting time sitting around trying to plan my future. Mostly, I think this is because my future is planning itself.

 

Without dwelling on impossibilities, wishing my life away or waiting around for things to change, I have altered my attitude. It's already starting to manifest as positivity in my life. The proof is in the proverbial pudding!

 

I'm not saying you need to lose your job, or have a friend kick you out of their life, or have a soul destroying breakup for this to work. Just try properly allocating time to do the things that you want to do- every day. It will make you feel amazing.

 

Give it a try. You CAN do it! 

 

 

Love and lollipops,

 

MJ x

 

 



Achieving Your Goals!

Thanks, Pinsbook!

We all have things that we want to achieve. To have writing published. To lose weight. To run a marathon. To plan the perfect wedding. To learn to sew. There are thousands and thousands of tasks that we set out to accomplish, ranging from minor projects to the big, life-changing stuff. And it feels so good when we actually get there!

However, there's a lot that can get in the way of us achieving our dreams. Sometimes we feel buffeted around by fate, or kicked in the guts by the banal judgements of others. It's hard to keep focus- and even harder to pick yourself up and keep going when you begin to doubt yourself.

Once upon a time, I knew someone that would tread all over my excitement whenever I was embarking on a new challenge. This person repeatedly trampled down the belief that I held in myself, pointing out everything that would go wrong and coercing me to exist in a world where I never went after anything I believed in. The term 'dreamer' became a derogatory judgement on my character, a way to reinforce their belief that my goals and hopes for the future were largely unattainable. 'Romantic' became a cynical and nasty way to describe my persistence to see the good in everyone (and the good in myself!).

I understand now how important it is to keep sight of what your goals are, and the things you need to focus on to keep them in check and keep yourself working towards them.

. . . . .

 

 

Mel V via Pinterest!

 

 

Have a clear understanding of what you want to achieve

 

This is where it all starts. What do you want? And really- what do you want? Not your parents, not your partner, not your boss. What do you want? How do you want to feel? Happy? Strong? Fast? Loved? Invincible? Accomplished? Stylish? More importantly- why do you want to feel these things? Having a deeper understanding of why we crave the things that we do is imperative to the achievement of our goals.

 

If you want to be thin, it's not good enough just to say that you want to be thin so you can be happy. Why aren't you happy as you are? What things about yourself do make you happy? Have a serious think about what it is that you want to achieve and why. You might be surprised by what really triggered your desire for change.

 

Write it down

 

This is the fun part! Make messy, vibrant, highly coloured lists! Scribble it all over a giant whiteboard and decorate it in flowers! Getting your thoughts down on paper makes them real, tangible and visual. It filters all the racing around in your brain, and helps you to start clearly mapping out your thoughts.

 

Write your goals in dot points, scribble things out, underline things ten times and highlight them in pink and yellow. Number them, in order of desire or urgency. Scribble out the numbers and re-order them after you've had a coffee. Visually explore your impulses and start working with your dreams. And of course, don't forget to set a realistic time frame- you can't pay off your credit card in two weeks (unless you win the lottery!)

 

Do your research

 

This is the less glamorous, more practical side of dream-living: really understanding the nitty gritty. If you want to go to Europe at the end of next year, you need to sort out finances. Do you want to start a yoga course? How about losing twenty kilos?

 

Start from the top- what are the practicalities of achieving your goal? Think about money, a time frame, your health and wellbeing. If your goals and dreams aren't well-supported, it will be unbelievably discouraging when you find yourself struggling to achieve them.

 

Start visualising

 

I've said it once (ten times) and I will say it again (and will continue to say it forever)- if you think that is what's going to happen, then of course that is what's going to happen. Don't make the mistake of setting out to achieve something believing that you are going to fail! That is no way to foster positive energy! Start working towards things believing that it's only a matter of time before they start to manifest in your life. Check it out:

 

"I want to lose 15 kilos."

"I am losing 15 kilos."

 

"I want to be a freelance writer."

"I am a freelance writer."

 

"I want to have a better relationship with my Mum."

"I have a wonderful relationship with my Mum."

 

Do you see where I'm going with this?

 

You need to start putting yourself in a position where you know that you can achieve. Start understanding that by thinking, talking, learning, reading, loving- you are already working towards living your dreams. There's no big secret here. Visualise yourself achieving your goals and you will start to see the benefits and amazing results. I promise!

 

Surround yourself with people who believe in you

 

This is not a difficult one to figure out. If you have people in your life who doubt you, make you feel worthless, or even worse, make you feel that you can't achieve anything without their help- cut them loose. They are hurting your self worth. Don't judge your achievements based on what they think of you! It's your life! It's your future!

 

Don't spend your time with people who like to be negative. These people like to judge others. The like to point our people's flaws, they believe that poor characteristics outweight good characteristics. It's a very sad, lonely way to live. How will you ever learn to love yourself if you find yourself sitting in a dark corner with them, hating everyone esle?

 

Get in the zone

 

Yay, colours! This is my favourite part of goal setting, and is a great tool for manifesting change. Humans are very visual creatures. Colours and shapes stimulate our weird and wonderful brains and we learn to associate feelings and emotions with images. Get out your magazines, people- it's time to make a mood board!

 

Find images, words, sparkly things, tickets, coasters, photographs- anything that you associate with achieving your goal, and start making a collage that you will see every day. Associate your mood board with power, positivity and success. Pinterest is a great way to do this online if you don't want to spend hours with stacks of of issues of Vogue or Q Magazine (and don't forget to follow me- we can be Pinning buddies!)

 

Reward yourself

 

A good way to keep yourself motivated is to set small milestones throughout the duration of your goal-achievement time frame. For every $1000 you save towards your trip, treat yourself to a lovely bottle of wine and rent a movie that's set in the place you want to travel to. For every 3 or 4 kilos you lose, buy yourself a lovely piece of jewellery. For each expression of interest you recieve for your writing portfolio, dedicate an hour to learning to make frosting flowers.

 

Associate your achievements with joy and accomplishment. You deserve to be rewarded for your hard work!  

 

Track your progress

 

We need to constantly reassess our goals in order to maintain achievement. It might even be that our goals need adjustment based on how we are progressing. If you're ahead of your savings target, why don't you try increasing your weekly savings amount by ten dollars? If you are no longer feeling challenged in your beginners yoga class, maybe you could ask the instructor for a transfer to the intermediate class?

 

However, it's important to try not to go the other way- that is, adjusting our goals to enable us to under-achieve. The thing is, it's not the fact that you want more time to help you lose weight or save for a holiday- the problem is in the fact that you think you can't. More often than not, the inability to reach our goals is due to a severe lack of confidence in our own abilities. It comes from a fundamental belief that we should probably just settle for what we have. Which is total, complete, utter bullshit. Get out of that mindset, lassie, because you deserve the positive changes you want to see in your life!

 

 

Healthy travel budgets and ass-kicking awesomeness,

 

MJ x 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



The Red Lunch Box: Episode One!

Hello, Dumpling!

It's SATURDAY!!! One of my all-time favourite days of the week! A day for sleep ins, quiz nights, lazy coffee dates and weddings! Squee! Of course, this week was Valentine's Day- and I had my first ever Valentine's Day with an exceptionally wonderful guy! (and I vowed not to gush on about it too much and ruin this post! Haha!).

 

I hope your week has been remarkable- I'm sorry I dropped the ball with Things I Love Thursday this week. I promise I will make it up to you next week with a bumper edition! 

But, back to Saturdays. As a kid, my favourite thing to do on a Saturday was to jump in our family car and roll around to my grandparents place. They have lived in the same house in the southern suburbs of Sydney since my Mama was tiny. And they have a massive (well, when you're seven, everything looks massive!), glittering, gorgeous blue swimming pool.

We'd spend hours and hours each day mucking around: jumping through black irrigation tube rings that my dutiful Pa (Grandfather) held up for us as far down into the 'deep end' as he could stand; slurping down my Auntie's infamous 'spiders' (ginger ale drinks with a dollop of ice-cream plopped on top so they fizzed and frothed all down the sides of the glass); making up diving and dancing routines with my sisters and brother; jumping from the hot spa into the cool swimming pool and screaming with delight. We always wound up staying for dinner, which was inevitably a big old barbeque complete with any manner of barbeque meats, salads and deserts you could imagine. We had the best Saturdays ever! 

The very best part was always getting to pick a special treat from Nan's Red Lunch Box. It has to be said that way, with a capital 'R', 'L' and 'B' to make sure it's a proper name. The Red Lunch Box always sat in the very back of the refridgerator, and there came a time after dinner where we would all group excitedly in their lino-floored kitchen and await this magical, red plastic treasure chest to be opened in front of our eyes. We'd get to pick one thing, and one thing only- maybe a chocolate biscuit, or perhaps a tiny individually wrapped chocolate bar- and scurry away to devour our treat like cholrine soaked, skin tanned gremlins.

. . . . .

Of course, not every weekend can be so entertaining! Sometimes, I find myself so bored out of my brain over my weekends that I sit trawling the web for hours and hours, clicking link after link and chasing mindless weirdness all over the internet! (Actually, that's not really confined to the weekend. That happens a lot during the week too- especially when I should be studying *faceplam*). During this incessant trawling and my over-zealous use of the 'Favourite' button on my internet browser,  I've amassed quite a collection of goodies from all corners of the globe! So- ladies and gentlemen, without any further ado:

The Red Lunch Box: Episode One!

Here are my top rated sweet treats from the net this week! Peruse them during your weekend down time, if you find yourself twiddling your thumbs... or book mark this page and can find the list whenever your heart desires! (alternatively, just hit the 'Red Lunch Box' link under the Labels tab!). I know this feature is quite small, but if it's popular I will increase the number of links next week.

- This is why your photographer never sends you all your photographs!
- If you're in need of some ear-spiration, check out these amazing earrings (thanks, Karlas Closet!)
- This is an amazing list of must read books from each decade from 2000-2009!
- OMG. A cupcake for every day of the month. ... squeeeeeeeee <3 (Thanks Ming!)
- There's a reason dogs are a man's best friend
- This is a nice article on Relationship Rules from Psychology Today. This site actually has some great articles if you have a bit of time to have a browse!
- This kissable lip scrub looks divine! Can't wait to try it! (Thanks Cristi!)
-  'How to Love Yourself in 17 Ways' from The Abundance Tapestry. Print it and stick it to your wall. It's a simplified version of what I want to achieve here. Do it. (Thanks Evelyn!)
- And lastly, a little lovin' from my hero, the beautiful Oprah Winfrey:

 



I'm off to a quiz night with my gorgeous friends tonight- I can't wait! What do you have planned? What did you do on Valentine's Day? Don't forget to 'Like' us on FB and join the chatter!

 

Psychadelic pom poms and Valentine's smooches,

 

MJ x

Don't Hate. Meditate!

Why hello, beautiful!

Image courtesy santmat!

 

 

Super early yesterday morning (got up at 6.45am on a Saturday, yuck!), I attended my very first ever meditation class! I had no real comprehension of what it was going to be like, and I'll admit- I was a little bit nervous. What if it was just me and a gang of hippies, decsended from Nimbin and looking to 'spread the peace, man'? But, I am determined to open my mind and try new things, and to be honest- if anything seems like it might make your life a little bit brighter, why not give it a whirl?!

I was the first person to arrive. I took a seat in the second row towards the right hand side of the brightly lit room, facing a small table laden with a candle, a glass of water, a bell and a picture of a happy, old, bald man (who I would soon learn was the Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, founder of the New Kadampa Buddhist Tradition) wrapped in what looked like a maroon and yellow travelling cloak. There was a single chair next to the table, with a mic stand to the right hand side. There was a table loaded up with tea, coffee and cake.

It was already shaping up to be a great morning!

As fellow meditation novices started to trickle in and take their seats, my incredulity mounted. They were all very normal and friendly! There were people of all ages- guys and girls, husbands, wives, grandparents and grandaughters- even two strapping young blokes barely older than me sat in the row in front of me!  It seems meditation knows no bounds when it comes to who is willing and able to learn to practise it!

The last person to enter the room was our teacher. I nearly fell off my chair. A lady! A real life, walking, talking, Buddhist nun! I could barely contain my excitement! I had been expecting a Dalai Lama-esque shrivelled old prune with a big grin and poor English. And yet in walked Kelsang Norjin (Norjin)- a seemingly middle-aged Australian woman in traditional Buddhist dress.

Norjin!

Image courtesy Maitreya Kadampa Buddhist Centre

Norjin's voice was so calming and soothing as we all settled down, gazing at her extectantly. Her big, lovely smile had a reassuring affect on me as she began the explain that the class was to be divided into three components- what is meditation and why do we practise it, how to meditate effectively, and techniques for concentration. In between sessions, there was to be two half hour coffee and cake breaks. Sweet!

Meditation and it's principals can be applied to everyday life, to make us happier, healthier and more peaceful. How good does that sound?! And so, without any further gilding of the lily, and the most miniscule further attempts at ado...

. . . . .

 

 

Image courtesy Indigo Children!

 

 

It's really important, first and foremost, to understand why you want to meditate. Is it for health reasons? Do you suffer from anxiety, or a panic disorder? Depression? Or perhaps, you just want to be happier in your life. Whatever it is, identify it. Use it to anchor yourself and make clear goals. 

To put it very simply, the focus of meditation is 'single pointedness'- to learn to concentrate solely on one thing. Meditation can help to adjust the way that your unconcious mind thinks. You can learn to re-order your most instictive compulsions through meditation (I've already talked about the necessity of doing this, to train our thoughts to be born from love and gratitude- check out this article I wrote a recently!).

It's also really important to remember that meditation takes hard work! It is a long term goal, and you can't expect to achieve single-pointed thinking in your first or second sitting! It can take months, and requires a great deal of patience.

Meditation is really the process by which we learn inner peace. Here's a cool fact, my lovelies- if we can practise effective meditation, we can hook into inner peace on demand! Can you imagine feeling such an amazing state of contentment just because?! Whenever you want? How much better would your life be if you could choose to be peaceful?

The good news is- ready? brace for it!- the deepest state of your natural mind is ecstatic happiness! What really causes us suffering is what our mind is thinking. The problem is that our minds lose their manouverability when they become full of niggly, unhelpful things. But, don't despair! The fact that we are already peaceful in the deepest state of our natural minds is an encouraging thought. It means we already have the capacity to achieve inner peace through meditation!

I am going to experiment with these ideas over the next few months. I really enjoyed the meditation we did in class- I found myself feeling very relaxed and very content. I wasn't able to achieve single-pointedness (hey! It was my first go, give me a break!) but Norjin was very encouraging. She explained that it can take months to achieve even a flicker of single pointedness, and that mediation is a strict discipline.

Training your mind doesn't come easy- but how great would it be if we could all access inner peace and true happiness?! I really believe that meditation can make our lives better.


Here are some links to some great info and articles about meditation and it's benefits!


- Learn a bit more about the The Maitreya Kadampa Buddhist Centre (Adelaide)

- ABC's Fact File- Meditation

- This '10 Important Tips' guide is great for beginners!

- This article by Jim Hudson outlines his experience of meditation helping him through depression

- This is an amazing clip from an interview Oprah did with Dr Oz, where she dicusses transcendental meditation and how she has encouraged her staff to incorporate meditation in their lives

Give it a go with me!


Free carrot cake and glorious inner peace,

MJ x

About the Beautiful Mess

Hello, precious!

I hope you are having a beautiful day! The sun is shining in my town today- it's warm and lovely. I have had a wonderful week so far with a suprise ice-skating date, wedding planning, wine and personal training to get me to Hump Day!

I think, seeing as though I now have followers that I do not know personally (hello! You are most welcome!), now would be a great time to really get into the 'nuts and bolts' of what the Beautiful Mess is all about!

If you've visited the blog in the last day or two, you will notice that I have added an 'ABOUT' page to the homepage. It's a link that will take you to a magical land, where you can learn a little more about me, and a little more about the Beautiful Mess and why we're here! And so, without further ado, let's get into the Beautiful Mess...

. . . . .

It. Is. Your. Life.

You can be happy within it if you choose to be.

Here's the thing. I know how easy is is to become complacent when you feel sad. It's so simple (and so tempting) to stay in bed all day, weeping into your pillow. Or to drag yourself to work and slump in your office chair, thoroughly depressed and feeling more alone than you ever have in your life.

You sit and hope that today will be the day! The day you recieve the fluke phone call offering you your dream job. Or maybe, the day the boy you have loved quietly for years will suddenly fall in love with you, too. Or perhaps, the day your car will magically service itself (and pay for it). The day your dog will train itself to stop peeing on your furniture. The day your best friend will bring you wine and cigarettes and let you cry for three hours, offering you the same advice she has patiently offered you countless times in the last six months.

Enough is enough!

No longer do we need to rely on boyfriends/ parents/ best friends/ girlfriends/ cats to make us happy. Your happiness is an ENORMOUS responsibility to impose on another person! It is unfair and unrealistic to hope that anyone other than yourself should create happiness in your life! It is no one elses job to ensure that you are achieving your goals, living your dreams, doing what you love or falling for the right person. It is yours.

You are capable of creating your own happiness- whether it is as simple as buying yourself some of your favourite fresh flowers, or working hard to achieve the promotion and payrise that you deserve. We- and we alone- are responsible for the light and happiness in our lives.

 

 

Manifesting Joy

"The law of attraction is the name given to the belief that "like attracts like" and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative resuts. (Thanks, Wikipedia!)".

 

My Mama would attest to the following statement (it has been her mantra to me since I turned twelve and started to believe that the Universe was out to get me). If you believe that is what's going to happen, then of course that is what's going to happen. In early highschool, I remember being too terrified to go to parties because I was convinced I wouldn't be able to talk to boys and they would all laugh at me. I've applied for jobs thinking 'there's no way I'm going to get this job anyway, so what's the point?'. I've gone to gym close to tears because I believed that I'm pre-destined to be a porker till the day I die.

 

I was a terrifying vortex of negative thinking! And -shock, horror- the more negatively I behaved, the worse things became! When you expect the worst, the Universe delivers it right to your door on a silver platter! (And no, the waiter isn't a gorgeous Frenchman who can pronounce 'cordon bleu' properly, it's Oscar the Grouch and he smells like a trashcan).

 

If we can learn to adjust our thinking and re-order our compulsions so the first thoughts that come to our minds are born of love, joy and thankfulness- it will manifest as positivity in our lives. I am a total, true believer in this principal. It makes you a happier, more vibrant person, which not only benefits your life, but also the lives of all those around you. Give up the Negative Nancy or Negative Nelson act, lover! It doesn't look good on you!

 

Harnessing Your Strength

You can.

You always could.

You are capable.

You are a fighter.

You are worthy.

 

We believe in you.

 

Find the strength to start believing in yourself.

 

Live Freely

Too often, I think, we find ourselves starting to twist and bend to conform to the standards of others. How many times have you paused, changed direction or come to a total standstill because you were afraid of twhat others might think of you? It is wonderful that we can have such strong relationships with our loved ones. Their love and advice is a treasure greater than anything money could buy. But don't let love and advice become a power over you that crowds your own dreams and decisions.

 

We are so lucky to live in a contemporary society that allows us freedom. Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of choice... the list goes on and on and on. Just don't forget that these freedoms exist so you can have your individual voice. It's not right for someone to make you feel as though you are not free to live as you are. Tattoos, sexual preferences, offline and online social networks, pet tarantulas, blue hair, politics, lollipop fetishes, gothic music, surfer dreads, lip piercings, bright red lipstick, religion... your life it yours to live. So start living it freely.

 

 

 

 

In my opinion, true joy comes from three places: the things we love, keeping good relationships and loving ourselves. It doesn't take much to start creating joy, and fostering the energy that keeps it going round and round.

 

For example, yesterday on a whim I decided to go into a junky looking discount store. I had next-to-no money in my purse and no real reason for going inside. I came out with a pack of 3D holographic dragonfly stickers. Now, if you don't know me very well, it may come as a surprise to you that I am OBSESSED with anything holographic! I love sparkles! And I love dragonflies, and I love dragonflies in different colours! I came home, ripped the package open excitedly and covered my bedroom door in them. For $2. Yes- $2. And the moral of the story is: always try to appreciate the beautiful things in the world- especially the things that make you smile.

 

I don't need to tell you to appreciate your friends and family. But remember to take the time to show them how much you love them, even if it's something as simple as picking a flower from a garden on the way home to give to your sister. Keeping good relationships is all about love, appreciation, intent and sincerity. And note that I said keeping good relationships. Don't bother with the bad ones. They kill your buzz, crush your spirit and diminish your self-worth (believe me, I am an expert in this area!).  

 

And, last but absolutely, totally and compeltely in no way least: appreciate the joy you feel for yourself! We all have our insecurities but don't let them get in the way of being the beautiful person that you are. We MUST learn to love ourselves. It's the whole point of everything we do here. Fostering positive energy, celebrating creative force, cultivating our own personal style- we can't achieve all these goals in the long run without deep true belief and appreciation of ourselves and our own Messes. Your Mess- your gorgeous, effervescent, vibrant, sparkling Mess- is your life. It comes from within you. Why did you think I called it Beautiful?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Holographic dragonflies and warm sunshine,

 

MJx

 

 

 

 

 

How to Not Wake Up Feeling Stuck In A Rut!

Some mornings I wake up and, quite simply, feel like ass. It's true! I open a bleary eye, peer at my iPhone to check the time, and know instantly to the core of my being that I'm in a bad, bad mood. I do not know why. I do not know how. But this grumble-bum phenomenon blocks my creativity, stems my flow of positivity and makes me snappy with innocent family members.

Life can be stressful. There are money worries, boy troubles, Horrible Bosses, family feuds and other worrisome whales to contend with. Some days, it seems that nothing short of a miracle will get you out of bed, let alone out of bed, smiling and being pleasant to telemarketers. While I'm not going to break down all the individual stresses of day-to-day life and perform an in depth analysis of the intricacies of  stress management, there are some simple ways to bring a little bit of joy back to the forefront of your Beautiful day!

Set your alarm to a song that gets your blood pumping

Music is a powerful motivational tool! Music assists with focus, drive, it can affect emotions and moods. Why do you think sports teams have anthems? Or why they play Enya at meditation classes? Music can help to get you back into a positive mindset. And if that's the first thing that happens to you in the morning, imagine what you could achieve armed with a few good beats throughout the rest of the day?!

Here's a few of my favourite 'happy day' tracks to get you started!

Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl

 

The La's - There She Goes

 

DJ Fresh - Gold Dust

 

Jennifer Lopez - Let's Get Loud

 

 

Start the day with a herbal tea

I know it sounds a bit naff, and don't get me wrong, I am a coffee addict. But there is something very natural, earthen and soothing about drinking herbal tea- particularly if you drink it out of an incredible teacup! Try T2, Teawana and T-Bar for energising blends, or anything with berries. And beacuse teacups make me happy, here is Tumblr's best selection!

Do your makeup differently


Well, obviously, this only applies to female readers! Try altering your morning routine. If you're feeling stuck in a rut, change your lip colour! Add a swipe of sparkle to your lids before applying your eyeliner! I'll be doing a few makeup tutorials in the coming months, so stay tuned. But in the mean time- if you usually wear lip balm, invest in a new coloured lip gloss. If you typically stick to bronzer, try a pink or peachy shade for your cheeks. Experiment with shimmer. Even revisit the nineties and give body glitter another whirl! Makeup is about self-expression, experimenting with who you are, and having FUN. What are you afraid of?! Afterall- it washes off!

 

Make an effort to be sincere

How many times have you stopped to buy your morning coffee and barely even looked at the barista? Do you say "thanks" or "cheers" without even thinking about it? Without even meaning it? The people who help to create your day- baristas, bus drivers, office cleaners, cashiers- are people, just like you. Make an effort to give them a proper smile. Ask them how they are, and be genuinely interested. And don't forget to give them a proper smile when you say goodbye. Smiles are contagious! Spread the love!


I'm not saying that whacking on a shade of fuschia lipstick will help you get out of a controlling or abusive relationship, or that sticking up a poster of a kitten hanging from a branch will grant your boss the wave of understanding that will finally get you a payrise and an invitation to hit the gym with him after work. But these tiny details are all under our control. We can alter small things in the course of our daily routines that can help to make life brighter, make your day better. They are accessible and easy and, well, who knows...? If you try them, maybe you'll find that you go to bed on one of these shitty days with the faintest trace of a smile!

Flowered teacups and Gold Dust sprinkles,

MJ x

A Note for the New Year

In the final months of 2012, a lot happened. Sorry to say it so abruptly, but it's true. Everything from getting kicked out of my house, to one of my best friends in the world getting married,  to a fiasco of a summer fling to the best New Years Eve I've ever had in my life. It was a showcase of accidental ecstacy, calculated luck and just a hint of misfortunate, all raining down in a shower of hot pink and gold glitter as I strung up my Christmas baubles.

 

 

We never do anything by halves, here at the Beautiful Mess.

 
The best part of the end of last year was the extraordinary re-discovery I made of my own strength. I was finally able, for once in my life, to say 'no'. The immense power and character that spewed from my heart and soul from committing this one simple act absolutely floored me. And it has completely changed my life. I no longer sit in fear of what might happen if I don't take control of my own existence, instead of letting others control it for me. I no longer cower in the shadow of someone I percieved to be exceptionally powerful and far more important than my own beautiful self. I didn't even realise that I had my own character, my own self-worth, my own truth and light and happiness wrapped up in someone else. And when I finally manged to de-tangle myself from the mess of ill-confidence I'd wrapped myself up in... it all just fell away.
 
I can breathe now for the first time in years and years. And I am happy. Truly happy. I learned to apologise- with contrition. I have accepted and acknowledged my part in hurting others (which made me feel like I was riding a unicorn through a field of neon pink and blue daisies <3 ). I see everything in a fresh light, with sparkles and new joy. You might think I sound like I'm stoned off my face, but I don't even care. I walk now with a brand new confidence, and it feels so, so good.

 

 

 
So, with all that out of the way... 2013 has kicked itself off to a flying start! I feel so deeply refreshed and rejuvenated. There is a tantalising array of amazing opportunities unfolding as we speak, with big, big plans on the not-so-distant horizon. I'm doing some research into yoga and meditation, into different philosophies on eating, drinking, loving and learning, looking into homeopathy and other alternative tharapies, getting excited about new music, new writers, new friends, new dreams... and making it all up as I go along. Yikes!

I'm really looking forward to sharing my new adventure with you. What are you looking forward to?

M xxx

Spring Cleaning Your Consciousness

Well, technically Spring is still a little way off (damn you, freezing winds and chilly rains, DAMN YOU), but I don’t think there’s any harm in getting a bit of a jump on things, do you?

A PRECURSORY LAMENT

Ah, to be alive. To hear the birds chirping, see the colours of the sunrise, feel the wind in your hair and have breath in your lungs... and yet, sadly, I feel I have sunk into a perverse disillusionment that has clouded my ability to appreciate life's gorgeous tenacity. I don’t know how it happened (that’s a lie, of course I do), but somewhere over the last six months, life’s usually-persistent knocking on my proverbial front door faded into the tap-tap-tapping of fingertips on knees, whiling my life away in pathetic fits of self-loathing. I momentarily lost the clarity in colour, the luxury of light- to be perfectly honest, I’ve just been downright miserable to be around, and for that, I do apologise.

It did get me thinking though, about my Conscious Self. I’ve always been fascinated by the Unconscious Self, whether it be dream analysis, or the concept of passive aggression (hello, Facebook user who posts status’ and photos specifically designed to make others miserable) but for the most part, I have spared very little thought for the what actually happens when you are conscious.

There are many varying definitions of consciousness. One, for example, is ‘to be aware of one's own existence, sensations, thoughts and surroundings’. Another is to have something ‘known to oneself; felt’. So for all intent and purposes, let’s look at consciousness like this:

Knowing Your Own Sensational Existence.

How sexy is that?

On Monday night, as I delicately sipped a cold glass of Sauvignon Blanc and waited for my nail polish to dry, I got to thinking about existence. Or, more precisely, feeling my own existence. Even more precisely, feeling, hearing, touching, seeing and tasting my own existence. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Spring Cleaning Your Consciousness has to begin somewhere. And while it is most certainly a daunting task of monstrous proportions that should only be attempted in the most fabulous of shoes (stay tuned- Solestruck delivery ETA Wednesday), it should, of course, be attempted. But this does of course beg the question- how does one spring clean one’s senses?

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE

... a plethora of stuff, really. Open your eyes and take it all in. What do you see? Your desk? Your bedroom? What about on the way to work? What does your house look like? What colours do you notice, what brightens your day? Do you like the look of certain shapes? Houses? Cafes? Street trees? Visual stimulation is powerful. Very powerful. And, happily, is one of the easiest things that we can alter to achieve a greater happiness.

I HEAR YA, BUDDY, I HEAR YA

Chatter. Car sounds. Birds chirping. Dubstep. Heels clicking on concrete. Screaming children. Sliding doors opening. Panadol popping out of foil packaging. Planes flying overhead. Shouting. Laughing. Crying. Computers whirring. What sounds make up your day? Which ones do you love? Which ones tire you out? Which ones are boring? Intruiging? Exciting? ... why?

LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE

Mmm. Food. One of my all time favourite things in the universe. I personally prefer exotic, spicy foods, with lemongrass and ginger and coconut and peanuts and pretty much any variation of Thai/Indian food that you could find. But with the constant worry over sugar reduction attempts and not eating carbs without wanting to kill myself, my quest for flavours that make my tastebuds dance and sing has become bleaker that a Siberian winter morning. Why do you love the foods that you love? Ever find it interesting that some people absolutely love sherbet, but others find it acidic and foul? Why do identical twins have varying favourite foods? Why do you love/hate aniseed/chilli/caramel?

SMELL YA LATER

The sense of smell is an interesting one. They say (who are ‘they’? These faceless entities from whom knowledge and wisdom seem to spout like seawater from a dolphin’s blowhole?) that smell is the most powerful trigger of memory there is. I will attest to that- there is one particular aftershave that seems to be inexplicably linked between my nostrils and my tear ducts. Thus, it is a smell that I associate with certain types of emotional pain. What smells do you associate with happiness, positivity and joy? (..... freshly baked brownies, anyone?)

I GOT A FEELIN’... OOOH, OOOH

Silk, satin, fur, cashmere and ludicrously thick bath foam are my top five touchable textures. Of course, there are about a zillion others, but we’ll get to those later. The sense of touch enables us to relax or recoil; our hearts to skip beats; our hairs to stand on end. It brings us closer as humans and allows us to express affection (or rage) in ways that are so very powerful. A comforting hug from Mum, a spider creepily crawling on your bare skin, an electric, accidental brushing of hands with the person you have secretly loved for years. All are awe-inspiring. All are different.

Over the next week or so, I want to scour the proverbial seabed of tingling, tantalising senses and uncover ways to improve my experiences in my day-to-day life. We’ll start with sound, so get your thinking caps on. This is the very beginning of surrounding myself with joy. Out with the old. In with the new. It’s all uphill from here.

Join me, won’t you?

M x

Conflict: A Beginners Guide

Cripes! I’ve let my Mess run away with me again. It’s been far too long since my last post- my millions of readers must be devastated! I have to say, in my defence, there’s been a fair amount going on lately. A whirlwind of money crap, jobs applications, interview arrangements, house inspections, crazy relatives and the like. All the hullaballoo had resulted in limited sleep, pretty scary dreams and, most importantly- I started to think about the concept of conflict.

Conflict (con . flict) verb1. To come into collision or disagreement; be contradictory, at variance, or in opposition
2. To fight or contend; do battle. To clash.
Ah, conflict. Where would we be without it? Probably locked inside our own heads, terrified to make decisions for ourselves, putting up with things that make us sad or angry just because we don’t want to come to terms with the idea of making proactive change. As much as nobody likes to fight or argue, facing up to your own problems is an incredibly empowering thing to do. It generates positive energy. It fills you with courage and resonates with an air of infinite possibility. But- where to start?
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
I worry a lot. Not anywhere near as much as I used to, and this is something that I intend to keep working on. (One of my best friends considers a moment not telling me to ‘Chill, Winston,’ as a moment wasted.) I know that I worry about little things, I do. And you know what? I’m starting to realise more and more, it sucks precious energy out of my soul. If you can’t learn to accept the little things, like missing a bus, running five minutes late, losing your keys- how on earth d’you expect to be able to cope with the big stuff? The huge stuff? Try to let the little things go. They are not worth worrying about. Chill, Winston!
Be Brave
Facing problems head on is a petrifying thing to do. I can talk and talk and talk and talk for hours about a
problem, why it’s a problem, when the problem started, how that problem is affecting my Mess, why I feel I need to do something about the problem, when I’m going to do something about the problem... but actually facing the problem is something I am just not good at. It demands courage, and confidence, and conviction in your beliefs- all things that I need to work on. But you know what? I’m no doormat either. I don’t believe in lying down and taking crap from someone, for any reason. Why should you have to put up with things that make you sad, or angry, or frustrated? Change, change, change! Let’s make a pact- we are all going to pick a problem, big or small, to face properly in the next week. We’ll report back.
There Are Some Things That You Just Can’t Change
As sad as it is, and no matter how much you try, sometimes we need to learn to accept problems which are beyond immediate repair. Relationships which are broken beyond anybody’s capability to fix. Don’t forget, every single problem in the world is created by human instinct, human error, human judgement. Key word being human. There comes a point sometimes when we all need space and time to grow alone. Don’t see it as a failure. Don’t think that you’re weak. It’s okay to recognise that you need to remove yourself from shitty situations in order to foster positive change. After all... how can anybody love you if you don’t love yourself first?
Embrace your Mess. Live it happily. Live it courageously. If you’re going to fight for anything, fight for your Mess- and keep it beautiful.
M x

Engage Fabulous Style

Good morning darlings! I am in an unnaturally refreshed mood today as I selpt for FOURTEEN HOURS last night. Amazing! I feel like I could take on the Universe! (How appropriate- this blog is about me taking on my own world, after all.) Do you now what I'd love? To find some other people who want to committ to this project with me. We're right at the very beginning, here and now, this project is less than a week old- what better time than to recommend this page to a friend who might enjoy it, or someone who you think is ready to start Cultivating, and doing something new with their Mess.

Begin to Cultivate Your Personal Aesthetic.
Today is my first pay day (!) since deciding to embark on this fanciful journey. I'm filled with almost innappropriate levels of excitement over the fact that I will soon again have real, live money in my bank account. And while that is very exciting, as there are things I really do need to buy such as food, razors, shampoo and these leggings (because let's face it, they are gorgeous)- don't think that your creativity and Cultivation is limited to having a few dollars up your sleeve to bandy about buying fairy lights for your bedroom, or an entirely new nail polish collection. No, no, no. In fact, I'm going to help you out.

* Top 10 Money-Free Ways to Engage Fabulous Style and Promote Positive Change In Your Very Own Mess * 

1. Re-read a favourite book that you haven't picked up in years. Engage with the characters and get back to the roots of what your truly enjoy.

2. Pick some fresh flowers. Stick them in vases, jam jars, coffee mugs, anywhere that will make the whole house smell like a florist. (Just don't let the neighbours see you if you intend to pilfer their award winning roses).

3. Paint your nails in colour coordination with your outfit. Hurray, colours! You may even have a few nail art gems lying around the place- go crazy! Imagine having glittering jewel encrusted nails when you sip on your next triple-shot-latte at your local coffee house. You might make someone's day. And please, please, please wipe off any mistakes with nail polish remover before it dries on your skin. There is nothing that says 'unpolished' (forgive the pun) like a messy manicure.

4. Throw out anything smelly or rotten in your fridge. Have you ever noticed a person's expression when they've opened the door to a pongy fridge? It's repulsive, and yet so easily remedied! Stay on top of it! You know as well as I do, that ham went off two weeks ago...

5. Go through some magazines and tear out pictures and words that inspire you. You don't have to do anything with them just yet- we'll have a look at ways to use these things in the near future- but spend some time collecting and reflecting. Plus- it's fun.

6. Go through your iPhone/iPod/Andriod/MP3 and make notes of music you haven't listened to for years or don't like. Delete. Why take up precious space on your phone and in your Mess on things that don't thrill and excite you? Poo! Be gone!

7. Check out some different Blogs. Sign up for Blogger, or Tumblr, or any other blogging website that tickles your fancy. You don't have to post anything, but you should be granted to use of a 'next' button- once you view a blog, hit 'next' and it'll take you to another random one. Why not? Engage with others and add their beautiful, different colours to your Mess. (Just make sure you come back here evenually).

8. Apply a fresh coat of your favourite lipstick. Drink a coffee. Enjoy the coloured imprint on the coffee mug.

9. Air out your quilt. We spend almost half our lives in bed. We sweat in them, spill tea in them, other people sleep in them (including animals)... stick your nose deep down in your bedding and take a whiff. See what I mean? Not cool. Chuck it on the clothesline, or drape it over some chairs outside in the sun. Make your bed a bedbug free zone.

10. Get off your computer. It's not going to run away. Go outside. Sit on the lawn, or in your favourite deck chair, and get to work on numbers 1, 3, 5 or 8. And that, gorgeous reader, is exacly what I'm going to do.

M x